My Job was simple: videotape Guys Night II. But, my boss was rather unforgiving: he told me, quite pointedly (literally, he poked me with each word) that I was responsible to get much better footage than I did last time. Admittedly, I really only recorded two events last time, I slept through a good portion of the rest.

So, it was about 6:15a, when the students were in the midst of the Kick Ball Tournament. The concept was quite simple: kick the ball in such a way as to hit the upper half of the back wall of the MAC, ten attempts were permitted for each contestant.

After the first few students had gone, most failing to even hit the back wall, I was starting to get board. Finally, The Evil Dr. Kyle (well, I’m not certain about the first two, but it was definitely Kyle), made one above the line, and was the first to score. For the moment, I was near a board. If only I had know what was coming next, I would have reviled in my boredom.

Picture this (you have to, I don’t have it on tape), there I am, sitting on the top row of bleachers, videotaping kickball, after kickball being pitched, kicked, missed, retrieved, pitched… I kinda got in this rhythm where as soon as the ball was to the kicker, I would swing the camera towards the back wall, hoping to get a shot of someone making it. It all pretty quick, so I know almost instantly if the ball went the wrong way.

This one time, however, as I start to swing towards the back wall, I realize through the viewfinder, there isn’t any ball to be seen, so, naturally, I swing back towards the kicker. At the same instant, the ball makes it position known to me. But, I really don’t remember that. What I do remember is experiencing is one moment I searching for a kick ball, and the next I’m holding my face with one hand and the camcorder is stuck to the other. Somewhere along the way, I recall saying “ow.”

As a crowed gathered around me I turned the camcorder off. Everyone likes to see blood, right? Except, I didn’t know I was bleeding until someone told me. I suggested someone get me some ice. I found out later that ice on the eye is a bad thing, as some tissues in the eye can’t handle the cold. Fortunately, someone found one of those lame cold-packs. Lame, because it wasn’t getting very cold, now, however, I’m rather happy I got to use a lame cold pack.

Somewhere along the way, we found a chunk of skin in the camcorder’s eye piece. I know where it goes, err, went. Finally, we have the bleeding down to a slow drizzle, and everyone is standing around trying to figure out what to do next. “Game on!” I say, so the games went on. I turn the camcorder back on, and continue taping. Of course, I had to use the left eye, as I was holding an cold-pack over the right one. (BTW, anyone know how to get blood out of my clothing?)

If you are paying attention by now, and if you have ever used one of these lame consumer camcorders, you know that when the power is turned off then on, it shuttles the tape back a fraction of a second. You would also know that, at best, this event took a fraction of a second. Finally, if you were really paying attention, you would know that I don’t have it on tape (I told you this four paragraphs ago). No America’s Funniest Home Videos for me. Sigh.

Answer #2: “No, I don’t have it on tape.”

Answer #3: “Yes, the camcorder is okay.”

Answer #4: “Kyle Marr (aka. The Evil Dr. Kyle).”

Answer #5: “Yes, it is a blessing that it didn’t gouge my eye out.” (Uh, thank you for asking).

Answer #6: “No, I didn’t get stitches, we used ’steristrips’ instead.”

Answer #7: “Yes, it is cool having a roommate who is a RN.”
An RN is not a doctor and cannot give medical advice. Any recommendations for self treatment of your problem MAY BE INCORRECT due to these limitations. You should always consult your doctor regarding medical care.